John came back with a job, a few hours’ work for £40, cash in hand. If our scheme’s working I’m stuck with him.
I thought of my friend Belle who wanted to be married and whose criterion was that of who should want her and I couldn’t see anything wrong with a criterion of choice natural to a sexually attractive Cancerian of receptive soul, though it did lead to a twenty-two year long marital hell till death did her part, at least ostensibly a mistake – on her part. Maybe not since his shortly followed, after I proved her faithfulnees he doubted from archiving her memoirs she wrote in the first instance to give me a record of events leading up to the successful fulfilment of her expressed wish. My man had to be behind it. As well, however, life is all though, because think of the continuation of that hellish marriage throughout eternity, thus the proviso for those who falsely believe their life should continue after death parts them from it.
My criterion is much the same: to give what is wanted, provided there is no reason not to. John wanted me at first sight and set about getting whom he wanted, turning from a lifetime’s heterosexuality in consequence . I have no aversion to him. I am not, so far as know, unconsciously pushing him out though his keep is costly. I also trust my spirit, which has pretty well determined things my entire life, would get shot of him in my interests though it did cut things a little fine with the assailant (I cannot bear to name directly). It looks like I’m stuck with John till death, illness or police do us part.
I also learned he has high blood pressure (my own being that of a teenager) while, despite his doctor’s recommendation not to, he oversalts his food and eats quantities of hard cheese.